Have you encountered the “paleo police” since going paleo? I definitely have. You know, the people who say, “But that’s not paleo!” if they see you consume something that’s not “paleo perfect” or they say, “You’re allowed to eat that?” Yes, I’m an adult. I’m allowed to eat whatever I want. I guess that second question is just someone wanting to understand paleo, so that’s okay. But guess what? Paleo is not about perfectionism. It’s not meant to make you stress over food. It’s meant to help you develop a healthy relationship with food. So what do you say to those people?
I strive for progress, not perfection.
Listen, I get that food is powerful. As Ann Wigmore said, “The food you eat can either be the safest and most powerful form of medicine, or the slowest form of poison.” I really believe that. If I didn’t, I would’ve never became a Nutritional Therapy Consultant and chosen a career of helping people improve their health with nutrition and lifestyle changes.
That being said, we are all bio-individuals. This means that there is no one-size-fits-all diet that is the end-all-be-all for all human beings.
Take a look at the diets of different cultures throughout history, and you’ll notice that they are all different. People ate what they had available, what was local. There are many diets that we are able to thrive on. In the 1930s, Dr. Weston A. Price traveled around the world to study the diets of indigenous cultures to see why they were much healthier than people eating “the foods of commerce” aka modern foods, such as refined sugar.
In his book, Nutrition and Physical Degeneration, Dr. Price discusses his findings from his travels around the world. He found that there are a variety of diets that people are able to thrive on, but there’s a few “rules” that were common to every diet. One is that the fat soluble vitamins (A, D, E, and K) need to come from animal sources and the other is that all food must be properly-prepared and in it’s whole form. He found cultures thriving on vegetarian diets that included grass-fed raw dairy, pasture-raised eggs, soaked/sprouted/fermented grains and legumes (dairy, grains, and legumes are not considered to be “strict paleo.”) Dr. Price’s biggest disappointment was that he wasn’t able to find a vegan culture that was really thriving.
Yes, there are certain health conditions (such as autoimmunity) where strict paleo (or other diet) rules need to be followed, at least temporarily, in order to heal. But if you are able to tolerate a real food that was found in nature, such as legumes or dairy, than I don’t see any reason why you need to restrict yourself from eating that food. Paleo is not a rigid set of rules. Think of it more like a guideline to help you build your own diet that works for you and your body. Choose real food, found in nature, over man-made, processed foods.
I like chickpeas – a lot. I recently reintroduced them into my diet and I do just fine. I still consider myself paleo. I eat grass-fed cheese on most weekends and sometimes I have white rice and quinoa. Does this make me any less paleo than someone else? I don’t think so. Eating should not be stressful and food is not the enemy.
Before I discovered paleo, I did think that food was the enemy. Now I have a healthy relationship with food. If I want to eat something that’s not strict paleo, I eat it and I don’t feel guilty. I just go back to eating how I normally do. If you have a craving, by all means just eat the thing! I promise it’s not the end of the world. If you have a bad reaction to a food, than you probably won’t want to eat it anyway.
Eating paleo is not meant to make you an obsessive eater, bordering on eating disorder territory. When I first started eating paleo, I was like this. I was crazy-strict and obsessive with my eating. I did feel great. I was super thin and light, and I was proud that I was able to follow the “rules of paleo” to the tee. But that didn’t last. And when I would eat other foods that weren’t “strict paleo,” on days that I didn’t plan on it, I would feel guilty. My weight was up and down (as it’s always been my whole life), and every time it would go up, I felt like my whole world came crashing down.
When I gained weight I felt completely miserable. It effected my confidence and my self-esteem. I had a boyfriend at the time. He was my first and only boyfriend and we started dating a few months into me eating paleo and losing all the weight. Naturally, part of me thought that I finally found a boyfriend because I lost weight and looked better. Even family members commented saying, “Wow you lost weight and immediately got a boyfriend.” So when I gained weight back after getting “off track” with my eating while I was with him, I feared that he no longer found me attractive and became afraid that he would leave me. That was absolutely not the case (we did break up, but not because of my weight). He would tell me I was crazy for being upset about my weight. He would say things like,
“You’re so sexy, why do you always do this?”
“Why can’t you see what I see?”
“I don’t notice a difference, you still look sexy to me”
“I’m so lucky to be with you,” etc
But nothing he said made me feel better about it. I was obsessed with being “perfect paleo.”
Fast forward to now, I’m 20 pounds heavier than I was when I was eating insanely strict paleo, but I’m happy with myself and I love my body. I’m not obsessive with food anymore and I’m not in a depression about my weight. I do have much more muscle mass now and I just feel healthier. Yes, sometimes I get bummed out because I can’t fit into my size 2 jeans anymore (and they’re still in my drawer) and I don’t look the same in some of my clothes that I used to love. I am actually going to be giving away my old clothes this weekend because I know I’m never going to be that size again.
I’m back in a size 6 now, but I still feel good about myself. Following crazy-strict diet rules is just not sustainable. When you have the mindset that you can never, ever eat a food that’s not “allowed” on paleo, you’re just setting yourself up for failure. Paleo is a lifestyle, not a diet. Understand that it’s not about being perfect and take back your freedom and sanity. Life is about balance and we should enjoy everything that life has to offer. Paleo is about developing a healthy relationship with food, it’s not about becoming obsessive with food.
If you have health issues relating to certain foods, obviously don’t eat them, but if you can handle eating something and you really want to eat it, go ahead, you have my blessing 😉
On occasion, such as Thanksgiving, I honestly don’t care about dietary restrictions. I eat whatever I want, but I do suffer digestive consequences after, which reminds me of why I only do that on occasion.
The most important thing is to remove processed/man-made foods from the diet. As long as your diet doesn’t regularly consist of those types of foods, you should be in pretty good shape. But hey, we’re all human, you’re not a bad person if you still eat those things once in a while.
Even if you choose to eat those foods all the time, that’s your choice to make. No one should be in control of your food choices but you. Not even me. I’ll present you with information and you use your own judgment to decide what works for you. (Of course if you’re eating these foods all the time, then no, that’s not really paleo- it’s the Standard American Diet)
As for the people who say you’re not really paleo if you’re not eating strict paleo 100% of the time? Tell them to keep their eyes on their own plate 😉
See Also:
What Is Paleo?
The Problem With Grains (and how to properly consume them)
Dining Out Guide
